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|From: William Doo (Original message)
||Sent: 13/02/2021 07:51|
How to deal with the obsession that modern media has about youth and appearance. And how they treat people 50+. Do they have a chance to date?
Have! We all live decades longer than we once did and remain healthier. At the same time, more and more people over 50 are finding themselves alone. They are looking for partners after a divorce, or the tragic loss of a husband or wife they have loved for years.
This means that more older people than ever before are looking for some kind of companionship to fill their previous partner's void.
Because no matter how old you are, one thing in human nature never changes. Nobody likes to feel lonely.
1. Age is not that importantYoung people are incredibly susceptible to age prejudice, to the point that age is one of the most important filter criteria used to find a couple on dating sites.
Much more important is what shape you are in, how healthy you are.
Adults over 50 are much more flexible in their approach to communication. In part, this is probably the wisdom that comes with age, but even more important is the essential truth about how you feel about age.
2. Your appearance.Another terrific aspect of dating for young people is how important looks are. This reinforces the message that young people receive on a daily basis: nothing matters more than how you look.
I would be lying if I said that appearance is not important at all for people over 50, but it turns out to be much less of a priority.
Maybe it's because adults are wise enough to know that physical appearance has very little to do with whether someone would be a kind, loving, and caring partner. Maybe it's because the physical nature of attraction changes as you get older.
3. These are not drinks, this is dinner.One thing that struck me was the important role it plays in the social life of most adults. No one likes the idea of wasting time cooking for themselves and eating alone. More than any other activity, dinner is where people feel most isolated from loneliness.
This is why, for most 50+ people, a dinner date is an important first step towards building friendships.
This is quite comparable to how many young people arrange their first dates, which usually involve meeting in a bar.
4. Not everyone is looking for love and marriage.Many older people are really looking for companionship and nothing else. Some are looking for someone to have dinner with them to travel, others are looking for someone to share their favorite pastimes.
For many people, this is enough at this stage. For others, it’s more than that. Which largely explains the next point ...
5. It's not just one partnerMany 50+ people have multiple communication needs. Of course, some of them are only focused on finding that one life partner who will give them a love relationship over the next few decades. But in the same way, many are actually looking for multiple companions to suit their diverse social needs.
6. Trust is important.Yes, trust is important to everyone, no matter how old you are. But for a fixed income retiree who has heard countless stories. As their peers have enjoyed the benefits, both online and in the real world, trust takes on particular importance.
Are they really interested in me, or do they need something more?
Or 50+ women considering potential male companions: are they really looking for a partner or someone to look after them over the past years?
Many people judge potential partners based on their personality and common interests. Than any preconceived notions of who might be the “right” partner.
7. Online dating is a negative experience.In case you haven't figured it out yet, all the differences I've outlined above, most 50+ people come to the conclusion that online dating is not a positive experience. It is built around the needs of younger generations who care a lot about age, appearance, and filtering potential matches based on arbitrary criteria. They enjoy spending an excessive amount of time on the Internet browsing and scrutinizing potential matches.
Dating sites that position themselves as sites for 50+ years and older are just one version of dating sites for young people. None of them acknowledge that there are fundamental differences in what matters to 50+ people and what they are looking for.
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