RESPUESTAS INTELIGENTES DE HUMOR DE WINSTON CHURCHIL.....!!!‏ - AYUDA-AMISTAD

WINSTON CHURCHILL

Como Borges, manejó como pocos la ironía, el humor inteligente y rápido.

Cuando Churchill cumplió 80 años

un periodista menor de 30 fue a fotografiarlo y le dijo:
- Sir Winston, espero fotografiarlo nuevamente cuando Ud cumpla 90 años.

Respuesta de Churchill:
- Por qué no? Ud parece bastante saludable.

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Telegramas intercambiados entre Bernard Shaw (mayor dramaturgo inglés del siglo 20) y Churchill (mayor líder inglés del siglo 20).

Invitación de Bernard Shaw a Churchill:

'Tengo el honor de invitar al digno primer-ministro al estreno de mi obra Pigmalión.

Venga y traiga un amigo, si lo tiene.'
Bernard Shaw

Respuesta de Churchill a Bernard Shaw:

'Agradezco al ilustre escritor la honrosa invitación. Infelizmente no podré concurrir a la primera presentación. Iré a la segunda, si se realiza.'
Winston Churchill

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El General Montgomery estaba siendo homenajeado, por vencer a Rommel en la batalla de África,

en la IIª Guerra Mundial.

Discurso del General Montgomery:
'No fumo, no bebo, no prevarico y soy un héroe'

Churchill oyó el discurso y con celos, retrucó:
'Yo fumo, bebo, prevarico y soy el jefe de él.'

-----------------------------------------

Sucedió en el Parlamento inglés.

Fue durante uno de los discursos de Churchill

en el que una diputada de la oposición, pidió la palabra.

Todos sabía que a Churchill no le gustaba que interrumpiesen sus discursos. Pero la palabra le fue dada a la diputada y ella dijo en alto y buen tono:

-'Sr. Ministro, si Vuestra Excelencia fuese mi marido, yo pondría veneno en su café!'

Churchill, con mucha calma, se quitó los lentes, y en aquel silencio en el que todos estaban esperando la respuesta exclamó

-' Y si yo fuese su marido, me tomaba ese café.'

-----------------------------------------

Otra en el Parlamento inglés:

Una diputada le dice a Churchill;

-´Señor, Ud esta borracho.´

Y él le contesta;

-´Señora, Ud es fea y yo mañana estaré sobrio.

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